A day in the Delta Q
by jen101
Summary: a day in the Delta Q…only a day that would never had happened on the show


Disclaimer: I do not own, I only borrow, so don't sue me!!!!!!  
A/N: A Voyager parody with a bit of a Seinfeld crossover (only very tiny)  
  
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A Day in the Delta Quadrant  
Captain's Log; Star date 1234567.8910  
When I went to my bridge shift this morning, Mr. Kim reported that nothing had happened, now all I can do is wait for the Borg or Kazon, or someone to attack us.  
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"How come nothing ever happens on MY bridge shift?" Harry Kim asked Chakotay, as they sat down in the mess hall. "Because, Harry, you're the recyclable ensign. Nothing's suppose to happen to you, if it does and it's not your character building episode, then we'll go over budget!" "Oh, right." said Kim. Chakotay says casually like, "I sleeped with Seven last night." "So, detailsÉ" "I don't want to right now." "You sleeped with the only Borg on the ship, and you wont give me details!?!" said Kim, as if he can't believe what he's hearing. "I don't want to right now" said Chakotay  
  
Lt. Tom Paris came into the mess hall and sat down next to Kim, "What's up?" he asked. "Chakotay sleeped with Seven last night, and he wont give details!!!!!" answered Kim. "So," said Tom, "I sleeped with B'Ellana last night and she's the only Kligon in the Delta Quandrant." "Yeah, but you've also been sleeping with her for the past three years." said Chakotay. Lt. Commander Tuvok came in and sat down, "Good morning gentlemen." he said calmly. "Who says it's good?" sneered Kim. "Good morning gentlemen," chirped Neelix, "can I interest you in some breakfast?" "whatever." said Kim darkly. Neelix put four plates and cups down on the table. "what's this?" asked Chakotay. "Bacon, eggs and orange juice." answered Neelix "Looks good!" said Paris, digging in. "Neelix, have you forgotten that I am a vegetarian?!? Where is my fruit??????" demanded Tuvok. "I'm sorry, Mr. Vulcan, but we're all out of fruit." Tuvok stood up and glared at Neelix. "Ah," gasped Neelix, "I think I might have some fruit in the back." Neelix ran back behind the counter and hid. Tuvok sat back down.   
"Red Alert, all hands, battle stations." came the Captain's voice. The four officers jumped up and ran to the nearest turbo lift. When Commander Chakotay stepped off the lift, onto the bridge, he saw on the big view screen, a very very tiny ship. He walked over to his chair and sat down. "What is it Captain?" he asked the woman next to him. "They have coffee beans on board." she answered. "SoÉ" said her first officer. Captain Janeway turned towards him. Her eyes where pinpricks and her hair was all out of place. "We're out of coffee," she said, her voice was high and edgy, "Mr. Kim, open hailing frequencies." "Hailing frequencies open, Captain." On the big view screen, the bridge crew saw a short middle-aged alien. "This is Captain Janeway of the star ship Voyager, would you like to trade with us?" "That depends Captain, what do you want from us?" said the alien. " We would like your coffee beans, we'll give you our warp core." "I'm sorry Captain, but I can't give you our beans. But I would liÉ" Captain Janeway signaled for Kim to cut of the alien. "Mr. Tuvok, stand by to fire phasers and photon torpedoes, full spread, on my mark." Janeway yelled. "Captain, I do not think that would be a logical course of action." "Fine, I'll do it myself." said the Captain, making her way towards Tuvok's station.   
Harry Kim looked at the bridge crew, and smiled. Tuvok was strangling Neelix, for not having any fruit. The Captain was blowing up anything on the big view screen, with Chakotay trying to restrain her. B'Ellana was on Paris's lap. Seven was modifying anything on the bridge with Borg technology and Doc was singing opera. "Yup," said Kim, to himself, "just a normal day in the Delta Quadrant."  
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THE END!!!!  
Thanks for reading, please read and review.  
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